Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Haiz ..
Same old problem .. always the old FARK problem .. why ah ? jus wht did i do ?
Love a person really tht pain ? why should i shoulder this burden ? always comforting myself .. i sick of it already ..
pple always ask mi , " since u cannot give up her up , go chase her" .. u think i don want ? u think i don wish ? u think i really no balls to go ? or u think i no confidence ? tell u the reason .. is not i don wish/don want or no balls/courage or no confidence .. jus tht i wish to tok to her .. do something for her .. but then wht i get ? a cold reply .. a cold look .. jus if u r standing in my position .. u think u feel good ? i don think so ..
How mani times in the night b4 slp i must "zhi wo an wei" ? always speaking the same old FARK stuff .. " nvm .. 2morrow is a betta day , maybe todae she is tired "
How mani times i brokedown in this past 2 yrs ? countless of times .. whether is wif friends , over the fone , or alone .. i seriously i cannot count how mani times le ..
The EMPTINESS and LONELINESS in my heart who noes ? no one noes .. everyone noe how to sae " don find love , let love find u" .. u think easy ? why don u try being in my position see ?
Lately 1 of my friend .. (yes i noe i not her bf or whoever f shit , no right nor reason to sae him or scold him) .. without my knowledge go contact her .. tolerate everyday non-stop .. always told myself since she not my gf , i no right to speak out ..
is not i want something in return when i give her so much thing .. i don hope or wish for a chance to be wif mi .. i jus want her little attention towards mi .. very hard ? hell yeah i guess so ..
Always saw Jie wif Jas so en ai .. i always tell them i envy of them .. telling them i am so envy of them .. but deep down who noes wht i thinking ? when i saw them so en ai .. onli wht i had is emptiness and loneliness which i have ..
Wht wrong things have i done ? anyone pls tell mi ? jus wht farking wrong did i done tht i have to shoulder all this nonsense ?
i jus want to there for you when u r sad and share ur joy where u r happy .. jus like wht we r 2 yrs back .. wht did i do wrong to you ? tht makes u so cold to mi ? if u hate mi , pls tell mi , i can don appear and don pester u for ur rest of ur life ...
Do u noe when u r sad , and i unable to help u , to help u solve ur problem .. u noe how heartbreaking am i ? worst still u don wish to tell mi ...
Even if i going to die .. pls tell mi how i die .. i don wish to die without how/wht cause my death ..
i really really emotionally drained and i had no more strength to go on .. i don wish to think of anything anymore .. i jus so sick of everything ... "xin hui yi leng" ...
Fade Away
6/06/2006 03:31:00 AM
