Monday, August 28, 2006
Hmm...
Yesterday Night had a weird dream ..
i dream i strike lottery in Toto of SGD 5 million ... and end up i no need to work and gamble ard the world .. i dunno i also got a special ability tht is i can foresee the future result is .. eg : i can know next week Toto result is wht so i always strike lottery .. end up my estimate fortune surpass Khoo family of 5 billion and take first place of 6.5 billion ...
Of cos wif such a $$ i move from a 4 room HDB flat to a Big Mansion which i owe 2 sport cars : Nissan 350Z Fairlady and Mitsubishi Evo 9 ... there is 1 time i meet Jie and Mark in orchard cuppage .. of cos they 2 want to sit in my Fairlady .. but then i told them my Fairlady is meant for my dear de .. i strictly refused them to sit and i drove home to park my Fairlady and drive out my Evo 9 which is meant for family useage or friends useage .. so in the end i drive them in my Evo 9 and bring them ard ..
Also as i nv work .. i gamble almost everything .. from soccer to casino to Totos .. i remember i bet wif English betting company Willam-hill of a soccer match surpassing 5 million ... end up of cos i win ( i got the foresee of future wht ) .. end up while others need to work for $$ .. my $$ is easy come .. easy come until i deposit 10k to my dear acc for her to use and to Jie also 10k .. b4 my dream end i remember i was rank no 2 after Bill gates wif a total fortune of 48.7 billion USD ... wht a nice figure to look at ...
oh i also bought over Cardiff City of English Championship Club and transform it to 1 of the major power in English Premier League ..
If only this dream is true ... haha .. also in the dream i reunited wif bell as couple haha ...
Fade Away
8/28/2006 11:27:00 PM
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
hmm...
2 days has gone and friday is approaching .. weekend for sure i staying at home .. no $$ to hang out .. haiz wht to do .. deserve it ? ya in a way ... why ? ..
Yesterday late last night well i got a surprise sms from her .. i thought is wht .. end is she in need of $150 to settle her hp bills .. well jus like Jas had sae ... i 1 day will die in the hands of the lady i love .. i jus can't sae a simple "No" and tht's it .. YES ... she not my gf , not my wife , not my family .. she jus only a gal tht i love .. i can jus don lend .. but sadly i can't .. rather to see her suffering .. will rather help her whtever i can
in my own capacity limits ...
Jus nice i spend my last mth pay and don have any single penny wif mi .. and jus submit my timesheet yesterday ... cheque only comes after 5pm on Friday .. no choice but to loan from friends first ... manage to secure a loan from Laoda .. and other loan from my campmate .. so i told her i be xfer to her on 2morrow afternoon .. also have a chit chat for dunno-how-mani-god-damn-yrs in Msn .. found out she still currently single despite all those stuffs circulating her .. anyway i do make preparation of anytime she kana "booked" .. after tht slept at 1am ..
So todae was whole day waiting for a loan from my campmate .. end up it did not materialize .. well maybe miracle happen ? someone deposit cheque to mi yesterday and i have $100 to spare .. so i xfer total of $150 to her .. well yeah i know i stupid .. under no condition jus lend to her .. easy $$ eh ?
Well i begin to feel living as a human is constantly facing mammoth task ... kinda of tired of life ... seeing how my buddy juggle his stuff , the surrounding of anywhere ... make mi more sian .. dunno why perhaps i should take a long break and go oversea enjoy .. too bad no $$ .. so have to rot in this small island...
Well Yesterday get quite a earful from Laoda , Hakim and Xiao Tan .. ya thanks i know wht u 3 trying to sae .. but i jus can't leave her in lurch like tht .. i simple don bear too .. this is the perhaps greatest weakness ba ... i perhaps like Jas sae .. will die under the hands of the lady i love .. anyway see when tht day comes ba ..
Oh todae Jie also advice also .. well thx buddy i know wht u mean .. i know u trying to tok sense into mi ... but u should know my character better than others .. especially on matters regarding her .. i jus can't put down and sae i don care .. although u maybe rite .. i have no real worries other than relationship problem .. is enough to drain my mental tired le .. ya i know u will feel gek sim when u see this .. but then isn't life is suppose to be like tht ? u had your struggle .. to maintain ur relationship going .. well i ? still pursuing a gal which don like mi , who treat mi as a brother , who i jus lend her $$ without any condition .. i know i dumb .. yet i know .. but wht to do ? life is unfair :) tht's is the fact .. some CBK may get wht they DON deserve .. while some who truely deserve don get .. don worry too much also la .. yeah i appreciate ur advise .. i get wht u mean .. don worry :)
God damn it .. i damn tired ..
Fade Away
8/22/2006 11:15:00 PM
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Well .. i not being sad or wht by posting the song lyrics here .. is the song which tht guy i mention had in his blog .. listen here and then quite a meaningful song ... enjoy :)
I can take the rain
On the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then
And I just let em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
Chorus
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
It's hard to deal with the pain
Of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it It's hard to force that smile
When I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over I would trade, give away
All the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken ...
Fade Away
8/17/2006 11:12:00 PM
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Well ...
Some Question which i am asking myself this afternoon during work ..
By now i suppose .. although i cannot confirm she has a new love .. but somehow i think she has le ba .. if it is truly a yes ... although i am mentally prepared le .. but i will be lying thru my teeth if i sae i am not sad .. Yes there is disappointment and sadness going on .. perhaps not so much ba ... "seasoned" perhaps ? haha i dunno ..
k back to topic ..
i jus dunno why .. if she preffered other pple than mi ( ya i know i not tht farking handsome or rich) ... which lead mi to a question why ? why choose other person than mi ?
Well friends told mi ... maybe she want to keep mi by her side as friends .. afterall friends r everlasting (in normal cases) when a relationship has a high chance of breaking .. i don understand seriously .. sometimes u hear some pple sae men thinking is selfish , think of themself and their gains .. well my turn to ask liao .. if a particular lady is selfish how ? especially in relationship-wise ... is other person hopes , wishes and dreams being destroyed .. isn't tht cruel too ? No offense to any ladies who see this blog of mine .. but i find it amazed than dulan ..
Also some pple sae good guys extinct liao .. does'nt exist in this world .. well izzit really the case ? i don think so .. izzit really the case u don choose to look ard and see or u jus cannot see ? .. it seems to be .. bad guys always without fail have their galfriends wif them .. somemore not bad looking .. does it mean good guys had to become bad in order to become like tht ? i dunno truely .. well not everyone is born perfect .. good guys especially .. some have a good looks but dunno how sweettalk gals , well some know how to sweet talk gals but no looks .. i think currently the best example got both looks and know how to sweet talk i think is Jie perhaps ..
Haiz really don understand ... wht i type is not any accusations at any ladies of cos definitely not her also ! it jus some doubts which i really wish someone enlightened mi ..Well i thought i am the most tragic guy in this world le .. i nv know there 1 more guy also tragic enough to be on top on mi .. how to sae ?? Well ..
I had a conversation wif my friend in msn ( sorry cannot reveal ) .. he sae he had 1 friend jus like mi .. waited for a gal for 7 yrs le .. tht 7 yrs tht guy was single thruout ... it turn out later in the part is tht guy nv confessed his love to her ( jus nice tht time the gal like him also , but both keep quiet) .. until now u know wht ? tht gal is engaged and getting married in 2 yrs time and most likely inviting him to her wedding ..
God damn it , i cannot imagine if bell tell mi like this .. i seriously feel for tht guy ... tragic indeed .. can't help but feel pity for him .. 7 yrs and end up in a smoke .. jus like tht .. somemore he will be invite most likely to her wedding .. i can't think how he going to handle tht painful moment .. seeing the gal u love wif other guy is already a torture .. but seeing your gal wif other guy and they getting married .. my god .. is worst than any torture in this world .. is really tragic .. haiz ... if i am him i also dunno wht i will do also .. speechless sia .. seeing my gal wif other guy getting married .. tht feeling sux ! ..
Although the thing is more or less settled .. but i hope a miracle will appear ba .. this guy really kelian .. keep quiet for so long .. waited for so long .. yet in return get this type of ending ..
Haiz .. izzit good guys deserve a tragic ending ?
Fade Away
8/16/2006 10:28:00 PM
Monday, August 14, 2006
hmm..
todae is the first day of starting a new job after quitting "Turin" (DHL Exel) ... new job environment not much differences from Exel ... maybe slighter better ba .. neverthless i still few comfortable wif it .. anyway i jus doing the job for 1 1/2 mth ..
Basically my job was just to shred paper ( and i mean large amount of paper , mostly confidential business papers ) ... so todae i arrive at 8am .. cos Supervisor want to brief mi .. end up i waited 1/2 hr for the superviosr to come .. oh well nvm since they r paying mi fir sitting for 1/2 hrs i don mind at all .. then he came and brief mi abt the rules and regulations , the safety regulation etc etc...
Then intro mi to 2 colleagues ... of cos not our age de ... neverthless still ok wif them la .. approachable personnel .. see in few weeks time will they be approachable (i seriously doubt so .. sinister brews .. ) ... not bad had 2 tea breaks and 1 lunch break .. and working time is 8am - 5 pm ( jus like office hrs) ... ok la first day not a good impression overall but also not a bad impression either ... jus think i had earn $49.50 for the day is enough ... end of the week get my cheque and happily smile to the bank ..
oh .. also after work on my way back saw tudi(vic) .. my god so long nv see her she still so ........ cute .. her cute dimple as usual the same .. jus wonder a cute gal like her why always mei ren ai -.-! .. think is she don want ba ... anyway wish her all the best ... haha .. speaking of her .. she really cute in her expression also .. on the way back home i and her board same bus home .. then jus nice i saw her but she nv saw mi .. and i jus sitting behind her only lor .. she was toking to her friend .. so i send her msg act blur where is she .. she reply she in bus and i ask her to look behind .. her expression really bth i want to laugh lor .. like those shy shy expression .. -.-!!! .. i laugh until bth sia .. anyway had a good conversation wif her lor .. afterall so long nv communicate wif her le ..
Ok le tht's all for tonight ... nitez :)
Fade Away
8/14/2006 11:14:00 PM
Friday, August 11, 2006
Phew ...
Finally finally finally my TP Test has pass ! consider quite lucky enough to pass on the first attempt ! after a night out wif Jie , Jas, Laoda , Mark ... after a night of practising of different types of parking .. i slept at 4.30am at Markie hse ... then wait up at 7.00am b4 Jie send mi home to prepare and get a quick shower and to take a rest...
Then after tht we went to Queenstown as i had a final circuit lesson at 9.30am ... we reach at 9.20am .. b4 tht ERP jus outside Alexandra Rd is in operation and we have no cash card ... so we LL suck thumb jus go lor ... i still dunno how much we kana fine for tht .. still waiting for Jie's answer..
Then finally my instructor came le ... then because "play" too much AT car le .. so along the way to Ubi i stall engine 3 times ... LOL .. neverthless is still like tht lor .. then go circuit training .. my instructor still insist in his method .. but i jus anyhow do ... until 11am we go for warming-up in Ubi ... then back to CDC at 11.30am ... take a small break and begin to sit in a room waiting for Tester to come ... wait until 12.10pm(i presume ? cos i nv take hp) .. then i got a quite ok Tester la .. so begin to go into circuit to test various thing ... then go out test le ... test awhile got 1 car SDL 8138Z (also a L plate) nearly make mi kiss his car ... heng i brake in time ...luckily tester is good give chance ..
so lastly went back to the centre ... then the Tester lead mi to a room then when he announce the result tht i pass i so happy sia ... total 18 demerit points i got luckily ... so after tht meet up wif my instructor for 1 last time tell him tht i pass ... then i go watch some movie on accidents and paid $50 for my license ... then go home after tht ...
Well get license le .. of cos need to thx the following pple :
Jie - for helping mi in improving my driving
especially parking
My instructor - Thx for helping mi also .. but also thx for critizing mi and insulting mi ZZ..
So happy .... Class 3 finally get le ...
Fade Away
8/11/2006 03:36:00 PM
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Yesterday i finally know why i jus refuse to give up even so much of resistance from friends ..
i finally realised tht i jus can't give up on her .. she those type of lady tht i wish to be wif her till the end of time ... those type which i willing to make any sacrifice jus for her sake ..
She also give mi (unintentionally) the reason why my love jus cannot faded jus like tht ... she not a gentle lady .. but she can mix gentleness together wif roughness ... her eyes jus tell mi tht i jus cannot let go like tht .. it onli makes mi more determined and onli give mi strength to go on .. even the firecest critics of mi i also can take it .. nothing can make mi stop for my love for her ...( Sorry Kim if u reading this but this is my heartfelt words )...
I may be liberised .. i may start knowning gals ... but my love for her remains unchanged ... she jus the onli special lady who can take my heart away .. there is no room for anyone else but onli her) ..
How i wish i can be wif her now ..
i will not give up jus like tht .. i will persevere and go on .... hopefully i can see results in near future ..
i love you <3
Fade Away
8/06/2006 10:03:00 PM
Saturday, August 05, 2006
todae is really a Surprise ..
todae meet up wif Jie ard 2.00pm after my driving lesson ( knn kana fark like no pple business .. got insulted badly ... nvm i seriously don care .. but i really dulan cos my instructor compared my driving lesson to a few ladies tht dunno how to drive .. knn seriously i think my driving skill outside the road is better than he thought lor ) ... then tok cock wif him and rest until 6.30pm where we dress up and meet Jas up at Jie's busstop ..
then board 196 to Suntec City ... was slping thru-out the journey then had to wake up by Jie .. nvm then we go to Marina Sq to see the movie "Click" .. too bad is already full ... so no choice but had to go for KTV ... b4 tht we had LJS for dinner ... expected the Q was so long had to Q for i think 15 mins ... after having dinner we walk ard MS then we going to head to KTV rite .. Jas suddenly sae want ask Bell to go ma .. then Jie go jio her out ... i was really surprised when Jie managed to jio her out .. i thought she will not want to come out especially it has been 11ppm liao .. but unexpectly she came down ..
Then we go to Party World Boat Quay for KTV .. shortly we settle down ... Bell arrived and Jie ask me(presume it is mi ba) to fetch her ... then the most funny thing she was at Clarke Quay Mrt Station busstop .. i thought she at Raffles Place MRT .. end up i nv go fetch her at all lor .. was v.disappointed as 1 of my friend(he is typically hong kia de .. ) go fetch her ... but then lor since i nv fetch her also bo bian de ..
Then she came le and we start to sing some song lor .. somewhere later .. i and her for the first time in dunno how mani mths ! i tok to her wif she looking mi and tok ... not those "stranger" type tok lor .. i was surprise and stunned seriously .. also feel v.happy lor .. finally she tok to mi like we used to be ... she tell mi wht problem she face at her previous employment ... i was kinda feel angryfor her lor .. how she been treated this way .. haiz ... nvm it is over le ..
Then came to 1 part i sing Cao Ge - Shu Dao Wu Da Ying Wo ... starting i abit singing not so accurately cos i admit i am nervous .. i want sing this song and delicate this song to her de .. end up kana suan by Jie and Jas haha ... make mi so pai sei ... anyway i truly v.happy tht time .. then i dunno why .. i jus ask lor .. i ask her if she can sing wif mi Jay & Lara - Shan Hu hai .. unexpectly also she agree .. so we sing together lor for the first time since i know her .. words cannot describe how i feel .. although she and i not couple .. but wht i feel tht time is like she my gf le .. and how i love her those type of feeling .. the best words to describe my feeling i think onli this word le : Elated ..
then ard 2.30am she left us cos her dad come and fetch her ... i was kind of se bu de sia .. although i nv show it .. but i truly se bu de ... happy moment so fast gone le ... neverthless i had a v.enjoyable time .. then after tht we went to the nearby store to eat late supeer and went to Jie hse to slp for next morning driving lesson ..
How happy i am .. wish this can go on forever .. <3
Fade Away
8/05/2006 11:36:00 PM
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
hmm..
Recently .. xiaomei got problems in her relationship .. then i was wondering ah .. how come in this world got some farkers , god-damn-it creatures guys who like to mistreat their gfs de ah ... end up make the those really love the gal no chance to jio ... damn screwed man ..
Haiz perhaps this is fate .. have to "ren ming" .. those who really love the gal end up get nothing .. those who toys wif gal's feeling end up getting them .. wht is this world coming to .. farking hell haiz ..
Anyway may those farking Jerks burned in hell and may they die wif a horrible ending ... farking hell ... deprieving of those who really loves them a chance ... haiz ...
Anyway these few days think more abt it also dulan .. is really damn unfair lor .. end up suffer most is those who really love them de .. see them in distress yet unable to help .. screwed ..
Wht is the world cuming to ...
Fade Away
8/02/2006 11:21:00 PM
